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What Being Harmless Means
I believe that harmlessness leads to insight, genuineness, and kindness; and that it integrates us, and that it allows space to form in our consciousness so that we can be creative instead of fearful.When I first arrived in Thailand in 1981, the profuse tropical flowers gracing the forest enchanted me. I couldnt help myself and had to pick a few every day to adorn my kuti (hut) with their subtle fragrance. They were wonderful, and I loved their companionship. My meditation deepend, however, and one day I was surprised and shocked when I realized that the flowers were innocently trying to grow toward the light as I was, and I felt suddenly horribly insensitive by removing the sun from their lives, for my own pleasure.So I stopped picking them, and felt happy whenever I noticed them growing wild and free in the forest, and was also glad that my selfish pleasure had bowed to a growing sensitivity. Only after I ordained, did I discover that it is a pacittiya offense (to be confessed) to damage living plants; this was a part of the Vinnaya, or the monastic code of discipline.As I thought about this, I speculated about authentic harmlessness, and questioned where it came from. And why it was that humility, self-effacement, and compassion usually accompany harmlessness?Experiencing authentic harmlessness seemed too distant to me at the time, for I had a coarse mind that first calculates what harmlessness is and then play-acts to mimic it by following rules. This type of mind would be too uncertain and erratic. No, authentic harmlessness involved something deeper, something originating deep in my consciousness or my inner knowing, and well beyond the everyday mind.The root of harmlessness surely couldnt be complicated; it had to be natural, like breathing, for if an exertion of any kind were involved, then the harmlessness wouldnt endure in all situations to guide us effortlessly in our every action. Therefore, the question was; how is authentic harmlessness born?My conclusion was that authentic harmlessness could only develop through a back door, through an evasive maneuver and never directly by the coarse mind itself. The back door, of course, was mindfulness, honed to a razors edge by mental concentration. For me, that deep calm of mental concentration definitely heightened my awareness, to the point that I could see the doer the pretender that attempts to be harmless as the exact thing that was keeping me from authentic harmlessness.It seemed to me that authentic harmlessness must be born of a result of something, and not a product of any overt action. Therefore, instead of trying to be harmless, I merely concentrated my mind.It slowly began to sink in, that whenever the doer was involved, the five hindrances (sense desire, ill will, sloth, restlessness, and doubt) would always taint the situation. When my mind, however, was calm enough so that there was only the doing, and no doer, the hindrances were nowhere to be seen, and a fundamental, sensitive awareness replaced them. And when the meditator disappeared in meditation, the doer disappeared in daily life.Many times I fooled myself, as I sat harmlessly in my kuti, thinking that I was not harming anyone, while I was constantly harming myself. When the calm mind wasnt present, the doer was, and doubts, planning and remembrances slammed me incessantly. Only in deep concentration was I momentarily able to relieve myself of the doer, and of the hindrances, and only during these precious moments could I consider myself truly harmless just for that moment . . .and then the next . . . and the next . . .

 

 

 

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